Friday, November 28, 2008

“I refer to jet lag as 'jet-psychosis' — there's an old saying that the spirit cannot move faster than a camel.

Security: “Absinthe is illegal to bring into the the USA”

Sidney the Mule: “oh.. of course it is. I would never”

man, it’s great to be back!

next up... “The Black Christmas Cocktail Party”

The Puddles!

bobby: “hash?”
Sidney: “I’ll make the drinks!”

Man, i love hash, and with an Absinthe chaser.. sweet indeed!

So with the flesh on the roof of my mouth melting (it’s an absinthe thing) we head out the door.
The first band we see the the Puddles. They put on a great show and the girl in the band is so cool. We chatted before the show and got drunk after. oh.. so here is one of her funny stories:

“I was with a lot of friends at a restraunt and we were all talking, laughing, eating and drink. it was great fun. Then i was on my cell and this guy comes out with the dessert tray and i look over and grab one and start eating while i’m on the phone. then i see everyone is looking at me and i ask “What?” The waiter says “this was just the samples... uh.. that’s probably 100 years old..”

ok, it’s a lot funnier if your shit faced on absinthe and hash...

anyway, enjoy the Puddles!

Off to BERLIN! The Mother Land..

Come to, out of my Hash and Absinth haze and head to the airport! Going with Moish and Bobby makes the airport so much easier. See the Israel airport security is a BITCH! But they get there and just yell at the security and we are through the gates.

Berlin is great, but just a bit on the cold side this time of year. But one thing, the train system is so simple. We get right to our apartment and unload and head out.

We do the tour thing and then ditch the tour.. we’re just not good with that. Um, oh.. we go to the gay bars. Well.. back years ago when i was there it was Cute Cute Cute. Something happened... seems some one came by with the “Ugly Stick” and waked the shit out of Berlin with it. I mean “What the Hell?”

Sure, some may say I’m just picky.. well ok.. so. But not one blonde boy god.. not even a skinny dork skater boy.. no nothing! Thank gods for alcohol..

You know.. even the food wasn’t as good as the last time. What happened? OH!!! I got it.. Joe and Timmy did it!!

This is are pad and hood in Berlin. Totally a cool place.

Memorial for the murdered Jews of Europe. (Berlin)



Ok.. so we go to a market to get some bites for the morning. I spy this “Peach Juice” and think what the hell. Well......

We drink coffee and I down some of my “Peach Juice” and hit the train. we get off in this cool hood and start walking around. it was cool and fun. Then we spy Mc Cafe and pop in. It’s a Mc D’s but so much better. the whole look is great, very lounge. And the food is different, it’s actually good. So the boys go and get some bite and drinks and I head to the can to take a piss. I there pissing and... “Um.. I think i best have a sit..”. I was going to fart but something just seemed off. I sit on the pot and “WOOOSSSHHH!!!” “What the hell is that all about?” I wonder. I figure it’s just that I haven’t eaten, just had coffee and juice, no worry. I eat a bit and we’re back out on the town walking all about.

We take the train to another hood. We get off.. walking around.. and yep... i have to find a toilet and right now! Moish says “just go in the park? (you see in Israel you sort of just pee where ever you want. People are peeing all over the place.) But i can’t because i have to SIT DOWN while I go if you know what I mean. So here I am running around looking for a place to dump. I go into this coffee shop and it’s packed full of people and of course the bathroom is right there, were everyone is sitting. This is not going to be the kind of smell that they might greet as friendly fire! I run out... running down the street! And there right in front of me it a Port-O-John! “Thanks you Jesus!” I run for it and grab the door.. LOCKED! The Horror!!!!

Ok, I am seconds for a horrible accident. Oh, all this time Bobby and Moish are flowing behind me. I spot another cafe.. I run in. Empty! Thank you jesus! I ask the counter girl “Toilet?” and the counter girl says “no.” “WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!” and I run out. I know.. not very nice.. but this was no time for nice.

So I’m running down the street again. Another cafe.. I go in.. “Toilet?” and this old guy points to the back... I run!

Oh my gods, sweet relief! So I’m sitting there on the pot for awhile.. “WOOSSSHHHH!” Then i hear the bathroom door open and then close. The Owner was checking to see what I was up to... one smell and he knew.

I head out.. kind of do a “I’m sorry smile” and get the hell out of there.

This was only the begging...

I get back to the apartment and I’m DEAD. I tell the boys to go have fun.. I wasn’t getting 5 feet from a bathroom!

Then it really hit me.. it was total food poising.. it was the PEACH JUICE! i never felt that sick before ever! I was sure I was going to kick the bucket. I was on fire and freezing at the same time. Sleep was more of a nightmare. Oh, a funny thing. So I’m there in a daze, a sleep? maybe.. i was really out of it.. anyway.. seeing how we walked like 20 miles a day i'm there in my bed and suddenly i get a huge crap in my leg. It was like a knife was stuck into my leg mussel, well not a knife.. more like Condelisa Rise just slugged me has hard as she could in my leg. See i was sort of hallucinating, I actually thought Condi was in the room and she hit me because i told Bobby she was a lesbian. Yep, i was a sick boy!

This was how i spent my last two days in Germany.

We're Back in Israel..

All recovered from my near death experience, so what better to do then smoke some hash and drink some Absinthe and see a Rock and Roll Show!

This is “Dolly’s Circus”. The girl lead singer is good but kind of a dope. the boys on the other hand... FUN! We are at Bloom Bar, which is closing next month. The bartender “Andy” (not his real name, the real one is hard to say.. “Agharugh..” or something like that). Any way, he kept the drink coming, and cute to boot.

Under Ground... "cave"

This is some under ground cave in Israel. We drove there and parked on a hill and walked down to it, the start off point was full of KIDS! UGH! They just kept talking and talking.. what could they have to say that is so important?

When our tour came up the lady says “now we must all stay together!” Like that was going to happen. It was cool once we lost everyone.

Some Pictures of Bobby’s hood.

Lets start a WAR!

Army Guy: “ok, but don’t pull the trigger”
Sidney: “oh, of course not”


a very old jewish temple.

Security: “no pictures please”
Sidney: “oh, of course not”


It’s more of the note wall but i guess it’s less god-ish.. no notes here. So we come from the underground and we’re in the “Muslim” section. So the tour leader girl says “Stay with this guy and close, don’t wonder off till we get back to the safe side.” Well that was odd seeing we were already in this section earlier shopping for brass things. Muslim’s are know for there work in brass.

The Old City...

This is what everyone’s fighting for. See the Gold Dome, well... that’s were the arc of the err... you know.. that thing from Indiana Jones, the first one.. the box with the ghost monsters in it.. well.. it was in the Gold Dome thing. It’s not there now, just an empty room. Duh, the Nazi’s took it and then after they opened it and the ghost monsters killed them we took it back to the states. Losers!

The second picture is the Wall. What you do is write a note and stick it in the wall then it being such a “god” place the note comes true. “Sidney, is that a new Prada Jacket?” ... Thanks god!