Friday, November 28, 2008


Ok.. so we go to a market to get some bites for the morning. I spy this “Peach Juice” and think what the hell. Well......

We drink coffee and I down some of my “Peach Juice” and hit the train. we get off in this cool hood and start walking around. it was cool and fun. Then we spy Mc Cafe and pop in. It’s a Mc D’s but so much better. the whole look is great, very lounge. And the food is different, it’s actually good. So the boys go and get some bite and drinks and I head to the can to take a piss. I there pissing and... “Um.. I think i best have a sit..”. I was going to fart but something just seemed off. I sit on the pot and “WOOOSSSHHH!!!” “What the hell is that all about?” I wonder. I figure it’s just that I haven’t eaten, just had coffee and juice, no worry. I eat a bit and we’re back out on the town walking all about.

We take the train to another hood. We get off.. walking around.. and yep... i have to find a toilet and right now! Moish says “just go in the park? (you see in Israel you sort of just pee where ever you want. People are peeing all over the place.) But i can’t because i have to SIT DOWN while I go if you know what I mean. So here I am running around looking for a place to dump. I go into this coffee shop and it’s packed full of people and of course the bathroom is right there, were everyone is sitting. This is not going to be the kind of smell that they might greet as friendly fire! I run out... running down the street! And there right in front of me it a Port-O-John! “Thanks you Jesus!” I run for it and grab the door.. LOCKED! The Horror!!!!

Ok, I am seconds for a horrible accident. Oh, all this time Bobby and Moish are flowing behind me. I spot another cafe.. I run in. Empty! Thank you jesus! I ask the counter girl “Toilet?” and the counter girl says “no.” “WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!” and I run out. I know.. not very nice.. but this was no time for nice.

So I’m running down the street again. Another cafe.. I go in.. “Toilet?” and this old guy points to the back... I run!

Oh my gods, sweet relief! So I’m sitting there on the pot for awhile.. “WOOSSSHHHH!” Then i hear the bathroom door open and then close. The Owner was checking to see what I was up to... one smell and he knew.

I head out.. kind of do a “I’m sorry smile” and get the hell out of there.

This was only the begging...

I get back to the apartment and I’m DEAD. I tell the boys to go have fun.. I wasn’t getting 5 feet from a bathroom!

Then it really hit me.. it was total food poising.. it was the PEACH JUICE! i never felt that sick before ever! I was sure I was going to kick the bucket. I was on fire and freezing at the same time. Sleep was more of a nightmare. Oh, a funny thing. So I’m there in a daze, a sleep? maybe.. i was really out of it.. anyway.. seeing how we walked like 20 miles a day i'm there in my bed and suddenly i get a huge crap in my leg. It was like a knife was stuck into my leg mussel, well not a knife.. more like Condelisa Rise just slugged me has hard as she could in my leg. See i was sort of hallucinating, I actually thought Condi was in the room and she hit me because i told Bobby she was a lesbian. Yep, i was a sick boy!

This was how i spent my last two days in Germany.

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